Welcome "Sometimes I feel like I want to sit in a puddle and then drown in the puddle but that would be impossible. And on some days I just want to put a jumper on my head and run around and scream at pigeons, but that would be stupid. And on some rare occasions I want to stand on that balcony, knee deep in pigeon shit and just jump. So I called the NHS."
Here are some things we're interested in.
Clowns, towels and intrusive thoughts.
"Humans are dirty, filthy little animals"
"the neighbours were horrified"
"So, I’d just about gotten comfortable with not washing my hands all the time, and now the government is literally telling everyone to wash their hands all the time or they will die"
OCD in the media
"Trust yourself. That phrase we hear again and again, day after day.
It’s good advice, and most of the time, it’s relevant. Helpful. But not when you’re not quite sure who you are anymore."
A quick story about a meringue and a shoe
J: Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds? (pause) Can I wear gloves? M: Nope. J: Oh COME ON M: Okay, how about if I do it and you watch me? J: Are you going to wash your hands after? M: No. J: Then NO! M: Really? J: I swear to God if you put your hand down that toilet I am not stepping foot in this room next week. M: Why not? J: Because you’ve been rummaging round in a toilet and not washing your hands! I will literally not breathe in this room of contamination. M: Are you sure you don’t want to try it and see what happens? J: (head in hands) I never, ever thought I’d be in this situation. M: What situation? J: Having to convince a grown adult man to not put his hand in a toilet! M: Okay, let’s forget about the toilet/What about touching the bottom of your shoe instead? J:Oh thank God/My shoe that I’m wearing right now? M: Yup J: Am I allowed to wash my hands afterwards? M: Only when you’re going to eat, or after you use the toilet. J: This is going to be a long day….
(J then addresses the audience with her hand held out, trying desperately not to touch anything with it)
J: A big breakthrough for me came two years later, when I forgot I had a certain (ahem) item inside me and accidentally dropped it down the toilet when I went to wee. I tried to flush it but that didn’t work, so I eventually worked up the courage to put on a glove and fish it out. I’ve never been prouder of myself, but it’s not exactly the sort of thing you can publicly shout about…Anyway, we finally settled for me watching Michael touch his shoe then eat a meringue…
M(having just done the above): So how do you feel now? J: Disgusted. And you’re lucky I don’t even like meringues, cos that would definitely be enough to put me off for life.